Fucking Magic

The cover of Fucking Magic #4 shows an anatomical heart.

Fucking Magic #4

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$5.00 (+$5.00 shipping & handling internationally)

Fucking Magic #4 is an exaltation of grief, holding space for the pain of surviving childhood trauma and living with estrangement from family of origin. It is a reimagining of what love, family, home, and belonging can be while remaining committed to the articulation of pain. It’s about crying my eyes out in the snow and moving through that pain as a process of healing and transformation. It’s about building what I can while I mourn what I’ve lost, and what I never had. Fucking Magic #4 goes deep into terror of abandonment and shame hardened in my body, while building safety and real, trust worthy love. It reclaims pleasure, sexuality, and desire, naming cock sucking as a queer practice and sexual submission as a space of trauma magic. It’s about loving and making peace with all the different aspects of me, and how damaging it is when I reject parts of myself. Fucking Magic #4 is about the practice of saying no, all the times my no was ignored, and how hard it is to reclaim the power of that word, how hard it is to believe it will be heard. It’s about stalking continuing eight years after the end of an abusive relationship and the power and revenge of living my best life. Fucking Magic #4 is about nonmonogamy, #slut4slut love, bisexuality, queer crushes, falling back in love with the world, and pain as an integral part of the process.

 

The cover of Fucking Magic #3 shows an octopus.

Fucking Magic #3

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Fucking Magic #3 is a love letter to the practice of building the life I’ve always secretly dreamed of but never believed I deserved. It’s about doing the hard and scary work of self love, daring to cultivate relationships and behaviours that are healing and sustaining, daring to try new things. It’s a zine about moving to a new city, falling in love, and admitting for the first time that a life grounded in love is what I want and need. It’s about exploring sexuality and desire, femme4femme, nonmonogamy, queerness, bdsm and becoming a sub. It’s a zine about liberating musical knowledge from music bros, starting a band, navigating histories of complex trauma and learning to fight. It’s about making out, setting boundaries, telling the truth, and being really really brave. Fucking Magic #3 is a reflection on the ongoing work of transformation, the commitment to love myself harder and fiercer every day, and the willingness to face the things that scare me the most. It’s a zine about having a body, a body that can fight and fuck, and press fingers into guitar strings. It’s about claiming joy, pleasure, and power on my own terms after a lifetime of violence.

The cover of Fucking Magic #2 shows a Virgin Mary statue wrapped with fabric and beads.

Fucking Magic #2

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Fucking Magic #2 is a deep dive into childhood trauma and living with the legacy of surviving childhood sexual abuse. Grappling with betrayal and shame, holding space for what feels unresolvable, falling on knees in cathedrals and at holy wells, Fucking Magic #2 is an enactment of trauma magic, a spell to end cycles of violence and abuse. It is a search and a prayer for love in the face of intergenerational trauma. It is a discovery and a declaration of a different kind of love, one grounded in a refusal to abandon the self. Moving between Tkaronto / Toronto, Tiohtià:ke / Montréal and Éireann / Ireland, Fucking Magic #2 contemplates the power of place, the power of leaving, and the power of arriving for the first time. Listening to ancestors, learning lost language, and seeking healing for deep wounds, Fucking Magic #2 is grounded in cuimhne / memory and misneach / courage. Reckoning and grieving open space for the work of embodiment, pleasure, sexuality, desire, and breath. Prayers are answered and magic works. Fucking Magic #2 is a revelation of readiness and reclamation of power.

A skeleton and the words

Fucking Magic #1

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Fucking Magic #1 is the first issue of a new perzine series. A meditation on sexual trauma and shame this zine reclaims sexuality as a practice of magic. Tracing lineages of trauma through child sexual abuse, intimate partner violence, emotional abuse, queerphobia, and multiple rapes, sexuality is rediscovered as a site of transformation and healing. Reimagining sluttiness and nonmonogamy in sobriety, seeking out femmme4femme desire, facing down queerphobia and biphobia, pursuing pleasure and surrendering shame, this zine is a declaration of the healing power of claiming sexuality on one’s own terms. A celebration of the power of friendship, an affirmation of the importance of joy, and an invocation of magic as a practice of embodied collaboration with a living im/material world, this zine dives deep into pain while making space for profound wonder and gratitude. Hopeful, heartfelt, disturbing, and empowering Fucking Magic is an act of love in the context of complex trauma.